The first couple of months after little man was born I was just uhhhhh “surviving” Mommy hood. I had read the books, taken the classes, and asked more questions than should be legal of all the “perfect” mothers I knew. But Mommy hood I found, is sometimes a path you have to explore with just you and your baby. My baby was not the same as the babies my “perfect”
Mommies had described. My little man was temperamental, demanding, easily irritated, and “we” really struggled with nursing. I remember during the first week home from the hospital, my beautiful mother was staying with me and neither of us could find the right thing to settle little man down. I was trying to stay calm and not judge myself for not knowing what to do.
I just looked at my Mom and said “He is like a little puzzle, I just have to figure out how to fit the pieces together I guess.” From that day forward, I have approached my challenges with little man with that thought in mind.

I was so excited the day of my first ultrasound, I had known from about 3 weeks from conception that our sweet bundle of joy was on the way. We had been actively trying to get pregnant for nine long months before our little miracle finally made his way into our world. It was a long 8 weeks, but the day had finally come! My husband and I still reminisce about the moment we saw little man for the first time on that black and white screen. There our baby was, just jumping all over that open circle in the middle of the screen. I kid you not, our baby, the size of a kidney bean, was bouncing from top, bottom, side to side…and we just couldn’t believe how active our little one was. Even the ultrasound tech commented on how active our little bean was. I look back on this precious, priceless moment in time and think…WOW, I had no idea how our sweet little bean would change our lives forever!

Fast forward to pre-school, years 3-5. Little man was in a private pre-school with several other boys. But somehow EVERYDAY his teacher would meet me at the door and unload all the ways my little man had ruined her day. He couldn’t do this, he wouldn’t follow directions on that, he was distracting the whole class! This teacher acted like it was little man’s plan to ruin her life! Some day’s I would just sit in the parking lot and give myself a pep talk before I could pick him up just to make it back to the car without crying from all the hateful things I would be told about my sweet little man.

Now, let me clarify something; my husband and I run a tight ship. There is no sparing the rod in our house. (Not always a spanking, there was A LOT of time outs, too!) My Dad has even been know to tell us we are too hard on little man. So, please don’t imagine some spoiled little brat when I describe little man. However, at this point I was really starting to question what was going on with my sweet little man. Why couldn’t he sit through the same Sunday school class as the other kiddos his age? Why were other boys progressing in pre-school and my little man was
showing little progress? Why was it literally IMPOSSIBLE for him to pick up toys in his room without me repeating the instructions EVERY. Other. Minute??? What was I doing wrong!??!?!?!?!

A month before little man’s 5th birthday, it was winter break from pre-school and I was home with him for a whole week. O.M.Goodness, it all just hit the fan that week. My husband came home one day after work and something horrible had happened yet again, I was crying in the bathroom just exasperated with my little man. I looked straight into my husbands
face and said very matter-of-factly “I don’t care which one of us, but one of us is going to be medicated! I can’t live like this!”

The next week we had an appointment with the pediatrician. I had been googling my experiences with little man and every ADHD quiz I took kept giving me the same answer- oh yeah lady, your kid has 100% of the signs. Because little man had heard so much negativity from his pre-school teacher (which we fired after winter break) I just printed the quizzes,
circled all the “yes” answers and then just gave them to the pediatrician. This was great because I truly didn’t have to say much of anything in front of little man…YAY! My husband and I had discussed all the options before the visit, we were both in agreement that any medication we started would be regulated, we didn’t want to change who little man was, we just wanted to help him function more successfully. Of course, ADHD was quickly identified, and we left the visit with our first prescription.

And so the journey truly began…for us- having a diagnosis allowed us to work through all the frustrations with little man differently. We now had an understanding, an explanation for how our little man’s mind functioned. It wasn’t that he was lacking anything, we just had to put the puzzle pieces in there proper places. No, he does not fit in the same box as “the average child”. But who wants to be average? ADHD may be a diagnosis- but my little man is so much more than a diagnosis! My little man is extraordinary! He is conqueror! He is a warrior! He is a overcomer!

Little man is now 11! We have been through a few different medications through the years, some worked really well, some didn’t. But we work through it together; piecing the puzzle together one day, one victory, one step backward at a time. Yes, we still have tough days. Yes, we still have to take time outs from each other on occasion. Yes, I still get exasperated on occasion. But in those moments, when I begin to question WHY…my heavenly father reminds me of this promise…

“For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not
to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11